It's 3:00 a.m. and I have an appointment with detectives in the morning

She-i-i-it. I have to get up soon. Another round of Rum and Eggnog. See how I keep capitalizing the name of the drink to give it importance?

Approximately 6 months ago, a girl came in needing representation in a criminal matter. She signed a retainer agreement but said she left the credit card that she had intended to use in her car. She asked if she could call us and tell us the number over the phone. Sure.

Within a short amount of time, we received notification from a bank that the girl had used the credit card fraudulently. It wasn't hers; she obtained the number from the credit card of a customer at the pizza store where the girl worked.

Tomorrow morning I have the distinct honor of being interviewed by two detectives who want information based on that transaction. Crap, shit, and shinola. I'm not going to be in the mood for that.

See, I heard that they already came by my office two days ago and were told by my office manager/husband that I was out of the office until the 2nd at 10:00 a.m. They wanted to talk to me sooner than that, but my husband was trying to buy me time since he knew that I might not be up to speed for the meeting, seeing how it's the day after New Year's. The main point is that the detectives sounded like the usual gruff type of detectives, like they ain't going to take no shit.

Well, damn. I just want to finish indulging in drinking Rum and Eggnog (note the capitalization?) for the last time until next year. It's going to be another YEAR before I can drink Rum and Eggnog again.

In fact, I think we have a slight problem here. I usually have drank at least one Buttered Rum by this point in the Season, and I haven't had one yet. Houston, we have a problem. (Houston=Tom)

I think the holidays aren't over, regardless of the date, until I have had at least one Buttered Rum.

Back to the detectives: I don't think I can divulge client information to them, no matter how much I want to help them catch the "bad guys." As an attorney, I can only report future crimes. I can't divulge client confidences about past crimes. However, the problem is that I wasn't representing the client for the crime about which the detectives want to discuss. So I'm not sure if I can divulge the facts incidental to the crime that they are investigating. I hate doing research. No, strike that. I LOVE doing research. What I HATE is doing research when I'm not being paid to do it, as I will be in this case.

I have a good idea. I invite the detectives in, offer coffee and brandy (notice the non-capitalization because I don't drink coffee and brandy), and then when they don't notice that I haven't given them any information, show them out the door.