My husband is angry with me tonight. Aspie Boy said something, not thinking, and Houston took it personally.Aspie Boy has a brain like mine. When I am focusing on something, and I keep hearing my name called, or people are talking, I get distracted and while I'm trying to concentrate, I feel more and more distracted as I try to maintain my attention, and suddenly I feel frustrated and react.
We were watching a movie and while we were watching it, Tom and I kept talking. That, I think, would be frustrating to anyone. But Aspie Boy suddenly said something like, "I wish you guys would stop talking. I can't hear the movie." Or something like that.
Houston automatically took it as being told to shut up by an 11-year old and became angry. Because I didn't immediately tell Aspie Boy that that's not how to talk to adults, Houston left. He'll probably spend the night at the office tonight.
If Houston had simply pulled me aside and asked me to explain to Aspie Boy that he shouldn't talk to adults like that, I would have handled it that way. Instead, I froze up because I became instantly sensitized to Houston's anger. I hate it when he becomes angry.
So, he left.
I get tired of trying to explain aspie behaviors to people. Teachers, my husband. I wish people would just simply understand that Aspie Boy isn't trying to be rude. He is just instantly reacting to a situation, and it can give the appearance of rude-ness. But he will understand if it is explained to him nicely how he should have handled something differently. I'm not going to punish him when I know he will act differently in the future if I explain how he should handle something differently.
He doesn't always get it. But I'm working on him. I get frustrated with Aspie Boy, too. But it's especially frustrating when I have someone ready to pounce on me if I don't immediately jump on Aspie Boy. I don't want to jump on him. He's got a really good heart and I don't want to jump on him all the time.
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